This joke has been told over and over but if you haven't seen it posted somewhere on the net, here goes:
A man, a turkey in his arms, walks into a confession and says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Will you take it and forgive my sin?"
"I'll not take it," the Priest answers, "you must return it to the one you stole it from."
"I tried," the man says, "but he refused, what shall I do, Father."
"If what you say is true," the Priest says, "then it is alright to keep if for your family."
The man thanks the Priest and hurries off.
When the Priest gets back home after the confession, he walks into the kitchen and finds out that someone stole his turkey!