Could you give me a feedback on the text I wrote?

[marii]

Can you tell me if there are any mistakes on my text? I'm trying to practice for the CAE Certificate. 

International travel may sometimes make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

 

Nowadays an increasing number of people decide to take a trip to get to know new places and new people. Even though travelling is considered to be vital in order to discover new cultures, sometimes it makes people prejudiced against a certain country. There could be several reasons for this mentality and giving viable solutions can help to resolve the issue.

Firstly, due to the various commitments that people may have, many more tourists decide to stay in a country for a limited period of time. As a result, they cannot get an idea of the place and base their opinion of the place only on what they have read in social media or on the internet. As a matter of fact, it is well known that you start to learn and appreciate the culture of a certain country if you spend at least 2 weeks there. Secondly, overgeneralizing is another triggering factor of the biases of international travellers. For instance, it may occur that during a trip one may meet an unfriendly or rude local person, but this does not mean that local people are really all like that. Furthermore, individuals should be able to be open minded in order to understand the mindset of the city dwellers of a certain country. By doing so, tourists can understand what prompted a local person to behave in a way that seems rude to tourists and they can try to see if they may unknowingly have showed disrespect for local culture. For example, a common mistake would be not to take off one's shoes in some religious places or temples.

However, there are few solutions that can help travellers to be more receptive and indulgent instead of cold and biased. First of all, travellers should make a thorough research on the typical customs and traditions of that country prior to the trip. In addition, the government should encourage tourists to stay longer in his own country by promoting activities for tourists which would allow them to discover not only the beautiful monuments and landscapes that a country may offer, but also the mindset and the culture of the inhabitants of the place.

To conclude, by implementing the solutions above, it might probably reduce prejudice of the public. If tourists have a positive attitude towards a certain country, they are more likely to return to that country and by doing so, they boost its economy.

[CooperLee]

In my opinion, your text is good. I also practice writing because I want to get a Certification. And I can recommend you to use tools that correct grammar mistakes. I use such tools myself, which helps me a lot because if you see what is incorrect, it will help you improve your writing skills. And also, I try to write papers on totally different issues because, as my professor said, such writing challenges are beneficial. The last time I wrote about the fashion industry, I spent a lot of time working on that paper. Here is one site https://envrexperts.com/free-essays/essay-about-managing-risks-fashion-designing-industry I came across it accidentally when I was looking for some info, and there are some essays examples on that theme. I read a few, and for me, they were like examples of how the finished paper may look. And also, there, I found a few interesting ideas, which I used in my own paper, but wrote more details on each.