mmjmaske

Bury the hatchet - to end a quarrel or become friendly. It was used literally around the time native indians were around what is the United States now; it meant to keep weapons under the ground or hidden until such a time they were needed again.

Pay the ferryman - back in the olden days when people believed in Greek mythology, people put coins over the eyes of the dead so they have fare to get into the underworld

Paying your dues - When I graduated college and joined the workforce, the only jobs open to me were entry level, low paying jobs. There was no way around it, I was told that working those jobs was "paying my dues" because I was a student for so long

Catlike reflexes - a bit literal, but cats are super quick to react. A cat's reflexes are pretty good.

Quick as a cat or Quiet as a cat - Also pretty literal and self-explanatory, but cats are really quiet and move pretty fast.

Yeah I'm pretty fond of cats :grin:

You're driving me nuts! - to make someone giddy or crazy.

Hitting a speed bump - having to slow down what you're doing because of an obstacle in the way.

Oh my god, please don't.

Everyone around me seems to use it in casual conversation. It's crazy stupid! I get soooo pissed off by that phrase. It's not even catchy! It was probably used once at the right time, and people started adopting it, and now they've blown it out of proportion without any kind of context whatsoever.  :angry:

A popular "Bird" idiom made for fish:

"A fish in the hand is worth two in the sea"

When I was a student, I'd use winding sentences, complicated words and repetition, just to get my papers to the required length. I could've said it clearly in a few sentences, but I don't get to make the rules. :bored: As a result, I somehow learned a lot of words I can hardly use in casual conversation, but I write a lot better now so there's that! 

I'd make my name something commonly used and banal or really mundane, if only for people's initial confusion when I tell them my name. Words such as:

Refrigerator

Streetlamp

Recliner

Of course I'd never really do it, it's just a fun thing to think about  :grin:

Here's a popular/infamous one:

Anne Frankly, I did Nazi that coming!

(And frankly, I did not see that coming)

... sorry, I'll shut up now  :speechless:

I'm Filipino, so you'd expect my first language to be Tagalog, right? My mother is a writer, so the first language I learned was English. It proved to be a good parenting desicion on their part; I've gotten awards and praise for my communication skills both in and out of school/work :grin:

Thanks, Mom!

In my opinion, the fastest, easiest way to learn new words is to constantly read books with those words, and to use said words in your day-to-day speech.

Practice makes perfect!

I always loved those kind of books! I'd read through them like a regular book and try to piece together the beginning and end of whatever page I was on. I feel that helped with my critical thinking and I could sort of predict what was going to happen.

A great many books have some kind of inspirational message in them, and the impact of each depends largely on the reader. It's the same principle with the quote "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"; it's all a matter of opinion.

You can improve your grammar by analyzing whatever sentence you make. If it "feels wrong" when you read it, then you already know you have to improve!

I use it only, and only when texting my mother. She likes being in and current, so she started using abbreviations with me and I sort of got infected.  :grin:

Why has no one mentioned Star Wars yet?

[list type=decimal]

[*]“Never tell me the odds!” Han Solo

[*]“You do have your moments. Not many, but you have them.” Princess Leia

[*]“Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes; your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your… sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now, his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side… then perhaps she will…” Darth Vader

[*]“Ben! I can be a Jedi. Ben, tell him I’m ready!” (Thumps head on ceiling.) “Ow!” Luke Skywalker

Basically, just be yourself! No one else can do that for you. 

Is imagination the same as applied creativity though? I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the two concepts.

I particularly like "Sonder", simply because of it's meaning.

Sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

It's the opposite for me. I couldn't ever read anything from Shakespeare. I always have a hard time with ye olde english; somehow all the extra letters throw me "off-balance" if that makes any sense. I enjoy the plays though, I don't mind listening to Shakespearean plays since I can't hear the extra letters I see in text form.

What are your interests?

It's easy to get into reading if you read about something that interests you. Also something you could try is starting out with a small, short story. You don't get the commitment and investment of a long novel, and your passion for reading (if any) could grow from there.

This is, of course, just an opinion but a stupid reason to learn a language is for nothing.

If there was a language that nobody used anymore, then why learn it? This would only be the case if there was no existing form of writing or spoken language, so it's kind of a paradox since you couldn't learn it if there was nothing to learn from.

Am I making sense? I think I'll shut up now  :speechless:

Post your favorite joke here! Bonus points if it doesn't work if it were translated.

No matter how hard I tried to move the envelope...

... it was still stationery.  :grin:

So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence...

... It was an udder disaster. 

The cat's out of the bag - rarely used, in my opinion. It's for when someone was keeping a secret, and it was suddenly expunged (hence the cat coming out of the bag)

Bite the bullet is one of my favorite death euphemisms.

These can even be used in insults! Instead of using profanity, you could achieve the same effect by telling someone to "go drink rat poison" or "go drown in a lake".