As title suggests, I need some help with my haiku. I'm pretty new to Japanese so I could use some help with it. I decided to make it to surprise someone special to me since they also love Japan and Japanese culture and I've alredy wrote it with help of multiple sites but I just wanted to know if, from grammatical perspective, it is any good. I know that there are some things missing (5th on in last line for example) but I just need a general opinion about "matching words" correctly.
Thank you in adva