Do you find that being angry or upset affects your linguistic ability?

[Trellum]

On 5/23/2016 at 9:37 AM, lushlala said:

Aww i'm really sorry t hear that @Trellum.....although I'm sure by now it's been sorted, right? I can totally relate, because having lived in Englad, I went through a lot of that. -and now living with my English husband here in my country, Botswana, it's the same thing, except the other way round. It's just horrible, but sadly has to be done. I hope the rest of the process is plain sailing for you from hereon in  It'll all come together, just keep the faith!

I feel better knowing there are others in a similar situation, because  being in this kind of relationships  is never easy (I have heard it gets easier after a while), but  love conquers all   We have had a couple arguments since then, mostly triggered by stress (I had to travel to a very big city on my own and spend the night there).   Things seem to be much better now because we are both calmer, now we are just waiting for my MVV   

[GenCitrus]

It really does. When I'm angry at least. I just can't find the words and I keep repeating the ones I've already spoken. Then I get more frustrated because I can't find the right words. That's when I take a deep breath, otherwise I'd end up in an endless cycle. When I'm upset, not really. I might think a bit more to explain to someone why I'm upset, but that's all. When I'm drunk however, I don't know why but I speak much better when I've drank a few beers. Maybe, because I let go and just say what's on my mind. There is no block, if you get me.

[reverserewind]

I don't think that being angry or beating yourself up was ever helpful when it comes to learning something or, basically, doing whatever. The weight of negativity can easily crush you aggravating the whole situation you're in.

[lushlala]

On 24 May 2016 at 1:19 AM, Trellum said:

I feel better knowing there are others in a similar situation, because  being in this kind of relationships  is never easy (I have heard it gets easier after a while), but  love conquers all   We have had a couple arguments since then, mostly triggered by stress (I had to travel to a very big city on my own and spend the night there).   Things seem to be much better now because we are both calmer, now we are just waiting for my MVV   

Oh absolutely, Trellum....keep the faith and I can assure you, you'll be just fine  The stress of it can definitely result in a lot of heated arguments, but it soon blows over. We went through it, and most people in the same situation do. It's weird because once we got here, it wasn't as stressful. I guess maybe because we'd done it for many years in England, we kind of knew the level of stress it can bring on. I guess you could say we're now wiser, too LOL I'm glad that things calmed down for you in the end. Fingers crossed for your MVV  

[Trellum]

29 minutes ago, lushlala said:

Oh absolutely, Trellum....keep the faith and I can assure you, you'll be just fine  The stress of it can definitely result in a lot of heated arguments, but it soon blows over. We went through it, and most people in the same situation do. It's weird because once we got here, it wasn't as stressful. I guess maybe because we'd done it for many years in England, we kind of knew the level of stress it can bring on. I guess you could say we're now wiser, too LOL I'm glad that things calmed down for you in the end. Fingers crossed for your MVV  

 

I already got my MVV    I got it last Friday    I am just happy this is over, no more trips alone to Mexico city and such.  I think that is why we had so many arguments, I was so stressed about going there alone, making sure all papers were in order, and I was forgetting nothing.  While my fiance was not doing so much, at least not as much as I did (he sent the application via post in his country - while I had to go personally to submit mine ).   I think I resent him a lot, unconsciously of course because now I can tell the difference     I am glad to hear you are your husband are doing better!  I hope to reach that stage soon, because the idea of moving to another country so soon really scares me. 

[SoManyLanguages]

Strangely, I've found that when I'm irritated or angry, my ability to remember words and speak them in German actually improves. Like, while I'm in class and some kid makes me angry, I'll just start muttering in German to myself irritably. I've also been known to insult people in German too, mostly to avoid getting in trouble by my teachers. Whenever I have intense emotions, I find it very hard to speak in my first language, but easier to speak in my second language. I don't know, it's just one of those things I guess.

[lushlala]

55 minutes ago, Trellum said:

 

I already got my MVV    I got it last Friday    I am just happy this is over, no more trips alone to Mexico city and such.  I think that is why we had so many arguments, I was so stressed about going there alone, making sure all papers were in order, and I was forgetting nothing.  While my fiance was not doing so much, at least not as much as I did (he sent the application via post in his country - while I had to go personally to submit mine ).   I think I resent him a lot, unconsciously of course because now I can tell the difference     I am glad to hear you are your husband are doing better!  I hope to reach that stage soon, because the idea of moving to another country so soon really scares me. 

OMG OMG Trellum...Congratulations!!! What did I say, have a little faith and it'll happen!! Oh I'm so happy for you I tell you, people who have never gone through this just don't realise how difficult and nerve wracking it can be, waiting for someone to decide your fate. Now you and your husband-to-be can relax and just get on with your lives. Enjoy it, you've earned it and fully deserve it. 

I'm glad to say my husband also got his a few months ago and the relief is just immeasurable  I mean, people were being rejected left, right and centre. So it was a bit of a miracle, really. We can now relax for a few years, too. Sending you many hugs

[Kev Brown]

Strong emotions can be a block when learning a language. General feelings of frustration often stop people from learning effectively. When speaking strong feelings can actually help your communication as they focus your energy and focus your message. I have seen people not fluent in a language speak very well in sudden situations where they were made angry.

[Trellum]

5 hours ago, lushlala said:

OMG OMG Trellum...Congratulations!!! What did I say, have a little faith and it'll happen!! Oh I'm so happy for you I tell you, people who have never gone through this just don't realise how difficult and nerve wracking it can be, waiting for someone to decide your fate. Now you and your husband-to-be can relax and just get on with your lives. Enjoy it, you've earned it and fully deserve it. 

I'm glad to say my husband also got his a few months ago and the relief is just immeasurable  I mean, people were being rejected left, right and centre. So it was a bit of a miracle, really. We can now relax for a few years, too. Sending you many hugs

 

Sending many hugs right back to you!!   Yes,  actually we had to go through this 3 times (the waiting for someone to decide our faith), first: when I was waiting for the results of my Inburgering examen (they sent my results to the Netherlands so native Dutch people would examine it and yada yada). The second time was when he hadto gather  (as well as me) a bunch of papers... I sent mine through FedEX.  He gathered his own too, sent them to the IND (immigration) then we waited... I think it was two months or so.  They could have just rejected it.  It's ridiculous, because just when we thought we were done we had to wait again after I had to travel to Mexico city to submit the rest of the papers (when will this all end? LOL)  and again we had to wait.  Only 8 days though   Looking back... no wonder I was so grumpy, lol.  

 

I feel so much relief... now I just want to live my life, not thinking about tomorrow and treasure every second.  I think you know the feeling so well!  I wish you  a lot happiness to you and your husband!  We deserve it after ALLL those hardships!  We really do!  This kind of relationships are not for everyone   I  mean, look at all the ''trials'' we have gone through, and I'm not talking only about visas and paperwork, but things like the cultural differences and dealing with our husband's families.  But real love conquers it all! 

[lushlala]

15 hours ago, Trellum said:

 

Sending many hugs right back to you!!   Yes,  actually we had to go through this 3 times (the waiting for someone to decide our faith), first: when I was waiting for the results of my Inburgering examen (they sent my results to the Netherlands so native Dutch people would examine it and yada yada). The second time was when he hadto gather  (as well as me) a bunch of papers... I sent mine through FedEX.  He gathered his own too, sent them to the IND (immigration) then we waited... I think it was two months or so.  They could have just rejected it.  It's ridiculous, because just when we thought we were done we had to wait again after I had to travel to Mexico city to submit the rest of the papers (when will this all end? LOL)  and again we had to wait.  Only 8 days though   Looking back... no wonder I was so grumpy, lol.  

 

I feel so much relief... now I just want to live my life, not thinking about tomorrow and treasure every second.  I think you know the feeling so well!  I wish you  a lot happiness to you and your husband!  We deserve it after ALLL those hardships!  We really do!  This kind of relationships are not for everyone   I  mean, look at all the ''trials'' we have gone through, and I'm not talking only about visas and paperwork, but things like the cultural differences and dealing with our husband's families.  But real love conquers it all! 

Wow, Trellum...you guys really went through the wringer compared to us!!! So you really do deserve it, my friend; so you better enjoy every moment of it LOL I can't even begin to imagine the expenses that went into it all! 

But you're absolutely right on all counts, and thanks so much for the good wishes, which I'm sure you know are reciprocated  These relationships are certainly not for the weak of heart hehe But in the end, if you really love each other, you do triumph,  -like we both did!!

[Trellum]

On 5/31/2016 at 9:29 AM, lushlala said:

Wow, Trellum...you guys really went through the wringer compared to us!!! So you really do deserve it, my friend; so you better enjoy every moment of it LOL I can't even begin to imagine the expenses that went into it all! 

But you're absolutely right on all counts, and thanks so much for the good wishes, which I'm sure you know are reciprocated  These relationships are certainly not for the weak of heart hehe But in the end, if you really love each other, you do triumph,  -like we both did!!

 

It was   It was really expensive,   but I see that as some sort of test too   Another way to prove we really love  each other and we want to be together.  Specially him being dutch   Because I don't know if you have heard it, but  Dutch are known to be real penny pinchers.    We both  helped paid the expenses, but I think he was the one who paid the biggest part.  Even now my mom says: ''Wow, he must really love you''.  LOL 

[maryannballeras]

I don't actually know why, but when I get angry, I feel like I speak English more naturally and fluently. It seems that words just naturally flow out. I know that it doesn't make any sense saying it bluntly like this, but this is what I often experience. Does someone know the reason for this? 

[Lingua Franca]

On 25/05/2016 at 11:31 AM, GenCitrus said:

It really does. When I'm angry at least. I just can't find the words and I keep repeating the ones I've already spoken. Then I get more frustrated because I can't find the right words. That's when I take a deep breath, otherwise I'd end up in an endless cycle. When I'm upset, not really. I might think a bit more to explain to someone why I'm upset, but that's all. When I'm drunk however, I don't know why but I speak much better when I've drank a few beers. Maybe, because I let go and just say what's on my mind. There is no block, if you get me.

I think that it's normal, our minds are in a state it doesn't want to be in. So our brains start sending so many signals it makes it difficult to think straight.

[lushlala]

On 01 June 2016 at 1:14 AM, Trellum said:

 

It was   It was really expensive,   but I see that as some sort of test too   Another way to prove we really love  each other and we want to be together.  Specially him being dutch   Because I don't know if you have heard it, but  Dutch are known to be real penny pinchers.    We both  helped paid the expenses, but I think he was the one who paid the biggest part.  Even now my mom says: ''Wow, he must really love you''.  LOL 

Hehe @Trellum......I never heard that one about the Dutch being so tight LOL Maybe that's where the expression "to go Dutch" came from?! But on a serious note, I'm so glad it all worked out for you guys in the end. Because like I say, this thing can really test you as a couple. Some people have actually been known to simply throw the towel in and just walk away from whole thing, because it's THAT stressful. But hey, it all depends on how much you want to stick it out and make it work. You did it and I did it, so kudos to us LOL  

[Min Abby]

I don't know but for me, it's the opposite. Whenever I'm mad or depressed I speak English language which is not my native language (I'm from Philippines btw). I don't know why or how but It just happens and it usually took me an hour to revert back to myself and start speaking my native language. I don't know what condition I have.