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Can someone please correct my text?


Sailor Cat

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I translated this text from German into French and maybe someone could check it?^^

Si je pouvais vivre ma vie encore une fois, j'essayerais de faire plus des fautes dans la prochaine vie. Je ne veuille pas être parfaite, je relaxerais plus. Je serais un peu plus fou que j'avais été, je prendrais beaucoup des choses moins au sérieux. Je ne vivrais pas si saine. Je voagerais plus, regarderais plus des couchers du soleil, ferrais plus de l'escalade, nagerais plus dans les rivières.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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Hi Sailor Cat!

I tried to correct your text :

"Si je pouvais vivre ma vie encore une fois, j'essaierais (it's more common) de faire plus de fautes dans la prochaine vie (I'm not sure about the meaning... did you wanted to say "I would try to make more mistakes in my next life ?). Je ne veux pas être parfaite (wrong conjugation), je me relaxerais plus. Je serais un peu plus fou que ce que j'ai été / que je ne l'ai été (the second proposition is more poetic and common), je prendrais les choses moins au sérieux / je prendrais beaucoup moins de choses au sérieux (the second proposition looks more like your sentence). Je n'aurais pas une vie si saine (that's more about your life than about yourself). Je voyagerais plus, je regarderais plus de couchers de soleil, je ferais (only one r) plus d'escalade, je nagerais plus dans les rivières." 

I would like to reformulate the last sentence. In french, we have many words to say "plus". For exemple, you can say : "Je voyagerais plus, je regarderais chaque coucher de soleil ("chaque coucher" means "every sunset", it gives an idea about the quantity ^^), je ferais plus d'escalade, je nagerais davantage dans les rivières. ("davantage" also means "plus", but it's more " sophisticated ").

Have a great day!

Photxphore.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh, thank you for the correction, I think this helps me!^^

Yes, I wanted to say " I would try to make more mistakes in my next life".

The text is a translation from a text and in the last sentence was only said "more". ;) But thanks for the options!

Thank you, have a nice day, too! :)

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