By
Faye Elizabeth
Below I have done a translation from Spanish into English. I have highlighted some things that I'm not sure are totally natural in English and am open to suggestions. Also if you think I have translated something wrong in meaning please feel free to mention !
Ya se sabe que los tribunales nunca se equivocan. Ergo Carlos Aguirre es un marrano. La cosa es que la Audiencia Provincial madrileña ha denegado el procesamiento de un policía que había sido acusado de empujar y abofetear a Carlos Aguirre, un leguleyo. Todo empezó cuando Aguirre se encontraba deambulando por la ciudad. Primer indicio sospechoso, ya que es público y notorio que los abogados de pro permanecen al pie del cañón en sus despachos y no zascandileando por las calles como golfos. Ello es que el susodicho Carlos (nombre de terrorista internacional, ténganlo en cuenta) contempló por azar cómo un policía perseguía a un hombre. Dicen los testigos de la acusación que el inspector alcanzó al tipo, le atizó con la porra y lo sometió. Y que entonces le puso las esposas y, llevado sin duda por un calentón de pasión persecutoria, prosiguió zurrando al detenido, que a la sazón se encontraba tirado en el suelo, con las manos atadas y sangrando un poquito, casi nada. Emocional momento que aprovechó el vil Carlos Aguirre para acercarse, proclamarse abogado y exigir que dejara de pegarle. Un exceso de petulancia repugnante. Ahora el abogado dice que el inspector lo tomó a mal y que le empujó y abofeteó. Faltaría más, vaya un quejica. Total, que Aguirre acusó al policía de agresión. Blanda canalla ésta que se duele por un supuesto par de tortas. Menos mal que la Audiencia ha denegado el procesamiento y con hábil instinto ha sugerido al juez de instrucción que investigue la actuación del abogado. Porque en el transcurso del forcejeo, dice la Audiencia, el pobre inspector resultó lesionado en una mano con el bolígrafo que Carlos Aguirre llevaba. Pérfida alimaña el tal Carlitos, capaz de abalanzarse sobre el inerme policía blandiendo un peligrosísimo bolígrafo. De todos es sabido que ésta es el arma más letal, más ruin y más rastrera. No los bolígrafos explosivos, cuya elegancia y señorío ha sido demostrado a lo largo de los años por la extrema derecha, sino el bolígrafo común, que es la sádica daga de la plebe. Vista la alevosía de Aguirre, no me queda sino pedir que lo empapelen.
It is already known that the courts are never wrong. Ergo Carlos Aguirre is a swine. The thing is that the Provincial High Court of Madrid has denied the prosecution of a police officer who has been accused of shoving and hitting Carlos Aguirre, a pettifogger. It all started when Aguirre was found wondering around the city. The first suspicious sign, since it is public knowledge and well known that good lawyers remain hard at work at their desks and not aimlessly wondering the streets like a good-for-nothing. That is, the aforementioned Carlos (bearing in mind also the name of an international terrorist) accidently observed how a police officer pursued a man. Witnesses of the incident say that the inspector caught up with the man, beat him with the baton and subdued him. He then went on to handcuff the man and was led without question by a heat of persecutory passion, and continued to wallop the detainee, that at the time was found lying on the floor, with his hands tied and bleeding a little, practically nothing. An emotional moment that the vile Carlos Aguirre took advantage of in order to get closer to declaring himself a lawyer and demanding that he ought to have stop hitting him. A surplus of disgusting arrogance. Now the lawyer says that the police inspector took it badly and pushed and hit him. No doubt a cry baby. In summary, Aguirre accused the police officer of aggression. A delicate swine that gets hurt by a light slapping. It’s just as well that the hearing has denied the prosecution and with skilful instinct has suggested to the examining magistrate that is investigating the lawyer’s charges. Because during the unfolding of the struggle, the High Court says, the poor police inspector ended up with a hand injury from the pen that Carlos Aguirre carried. The double-crossing vermin, Carlos the man in question, who was capable of pouncing at the defenceless policeman, whilst wielding an extremely dangerous pen. As everyone knows, it is the most lethal, vicious and foul weapon. Not the explosive pens, whose elegance and majesty has been shown over the years by the far right, but the common pen, the sadistic dagger of the commoner. In view of Aguirre’s treachery, nothing remains for me to ask that they prosecute him.
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