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Help with grammar in haiku!


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Hello there

As title suggests, I need some help with my haiku. I'm pretty new to Japanese so I could use some help with it. I decided to make it to surprise someone special to me since they also love Japan and Japanese culture and I've alredy wrote it with help of multiple sites but I just wanted to know if, from grammatical perspective, it is any good. I know that there are some things missing (5th on in last line for example) but I just need a general opinion about "matching words" correctly. 


gentle breeze
peaceful daisies
and you

Thank you in advance!

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  • 2 months later...

Rule number 1: don't bother with grammar in a haiku, it's not meant to be on par with grammar of every day Japanese any way.

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