Do you care what others think about the way you talk?

[rossonomous]

Someone posed the question to me once saying "Do you care more about your own grammar or what people think of you when you speak?". This question actually struck me as a really good one.

I have recently started working at a company based in quite a wealthy part of London and a lot of the employees are very well spoken with excellent grammar and pronunciation. I am not from the same kind of area and my language is much more relaxed.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently, how much do I really care what other think about the way I speak? The more I think about it, the more I seem to care. I am going out of my way to try and speak much more like my colleagues and I don't know whether I should or not?

How important is what others think about the way you speak? Do they automatically judge you? Think lesser of you? What do you do when someone speaks in a certain way?

[thekernel]

I trip over my tongue a lot. It's not great for when I try to tell witty jokes and I end up botching the punch line. That doesn't stop me from trying though. I'm not really concerned about how people perceive me through my grammar and pronunciation.

In a professional business environment, it would do you well to have great language etiquette. But I don't believe it seriously impacts what people think of you.

[mareebaybay]

No I don't care what people think of the way I talk. Growing up I always had a deeper and more pitched voice. Some people would say I talked like my nose was clogged up. I don't care what people think of the way I talk, as long as they can understand me.

[Adobo]

I care when I can’t express myself well when the conversation is in English like the word I needed is hanging at the tip of my tongue. I’ve no problem when the communication is done via writing though. It’s just hard when it is done orally and I’m talking to a person really fluent in English. Somehow I expect myself to respond as well but, you know. I still need some practice. 

[DiesIrae]

I only care about it if I can't express myself well enough. I'll echo what Adobo said. It's not really about how people think about the way I talk, it just bothers me that I can't get my point straight, especially if I strongly want to communicate it to present company.

One time I did care about it a bit was when I came home from studying in the city. My sister was saying that I had a snotty city accent which wasn't really something bad, I was just annoyed that she was making a big deal out of it.

[sayitwell]

i just flat out do not care what others think of me.  i wish more people would live in this manner.  i know that my grammar and language skills are well above average but what does it even matter?  it does not matter in the slightest.  i would only be concerned about such things if it determined whether i was to lose my job or gain a promotion.

[Miya]

I actually care a lot. It's okay when I'm with my friends but when I have to do a presentation in front of unknown people, I care a LOT about what others think. It makes me uncomfortable when I can't express myself properly or when I use the wrong grammar due to nervousness.

[asiong123]

I used to have a very rough English accent before. My accent was like that of a chieftain speaking English for the first time. Back then I felt insecure but now that I have a more Western accent, I kind of miss my old tribal accent. It was very unique and distinct.

[Czarownica]

I care way too much about everything, so... yeah Besides, I'm a college student, so my English (and my Japanese as well) is being judged on a daily basics and I have to care, since I need to take their feedback and improve.

[Hardison]

I do care about what others think about my grammar and pronunciation. I try not to focus on it too much because I get tongue-tied. I judge people on the way they speak. I know that it's being overly judgmental, but I still do it. I don't understand how some people can make it through school and still speak so crappy.  I don't expect people to be perfect. I'm not perfect.

I assume that people are judging me on my language skills because I'm judging them. There are exceptions. I don't judge those whose native language isn't English. American English is very hard to learn with rules and exceptions to the rules. 

[rossonomous]

I trip over my tongue a lot. It's not great for when I try to tell witty jokes and I end up botching the punch line. That doesn't stop me from trying though. I'm not really concerned about how people perceive me through my grammar and pronunciation.

In a professional business environment, it would do you well to have great language etiquette. But I don't believe it seriously impacts what people think of you.

I also get told that I trip over my tongue and that I miss words out in my sentences. I think it's because I talk a bit slangy therefore say less words where I don't see them necessary. However, I don't know I'm doing it until it gets pointed out.

[rossonomous]

No I don't care what people think of the way I talk. Growing up I always had a deeper and more pitched voice. Some people would say I talked like my nose was clogged up. I don't care what people think of the way I talk, as long as they can understand me.

I've long stuck by this opinion but for some reason I just feel more and more agitated by it recently. I know that I should not let it bother me.

[LauraM]

Someone posed the question to me once saying "Do you care more about your own grammar or what people think of you when you speak?". This question actually struck me as a really good one.

I have recently started working at a company based in quite a wealthy part of London and a lot of the employees are very well spoken with excellent grammar and pronunciation. I am not from the same kind of area and my language is much more relaxed.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently, how much do I really care what other think about the way I speak? The more I think about it, the more I seem to care. I am going out of my way to try and speak much more like my colleagues and I don't know whether I should or not?

How important is what others think about the way you speak? Do they automatically judge you? Think lesser of you? What do you do when someone speaks in a certain way?

I can understand your concern, especially being in a profession setting.  I do think it's important to uphold standards of proper grammar and pronunciation in such circumstances.  It can be beneficial to you as far as your career in general is concerned as well as in your current workplace.

I don't see it as an issue of how others judge or don't judge.  I think that the standards should be your own.  If you want to have better grammar then it's a goal to work towards for your own sake.  If not, then that too is for your own sake.

We do know that people can be judgmental for all kinds of reasons and we really don't have control over what others think.  But I know, it can cause worry and concern.  I can relate as I strive to not get overly concerned about what others think.  But it can be difficult to get to and maintain an internal integrity that's not based on concern about the judgement of others. 

[sayitwell]

I also get told that I trip over my tongue and that I miss words out in my sentences. I think it's because I talk a bit slangy therefore say less words where I don't see them necessary. However, I don't know I'm doing it until it gets pointed out.

in speech i am also prone to stumble.  i prefer to write out my thoughts.  i think very clearly and quickly but when i try to verbalize my thoughts they come out jumbled sometimes.  i'm not exactly sure why.  maybe my mouth can't catch up to my brain's speed.  oh well.

[rossonomous]

I can understand your concern, especially being in a profession setting.  I do think it's important to uphold standards of proper grammar and pronunciation in such circumstances.  It can be beneficial to you as far as your career in general is concerned as well as in your current workplace.

I don't see it as an issue of how others judge or don't judge.  I think that the standards should be your own.  If you want to have better grammar then it's a goal to work towards for your own sake.  If not, then that too is for your own sake.

My goal is for better grammar overall, but I don't want to be doing this just because I feel myself being scrutinised. I am trying to look from an alternative approach now though. If I feel like I'm being scrutinised, rather than taking this in a negative fashion (because it's probably not intended like that anyway), I'm just going to use it as a reason to improve.

[DiesIrae]

It would probably be good to set up the context in why we feel the way we do when someone takes notice of the way we talk. In the Philippines, if your English sounds gets a bit too funky, people make fun of you. What makes it weird is while English is used widely in the Philippines, not many would have what they think might pass for an American accent (or something very similar to the native ear). In any case, I don't really care much about what people think, just that people should try to express themselves the best way they can should be enough.

[GetFresh]

I care a lot about these things. I don't want to be looked down upon and be thought of that guy with the terrible grammar. I feel that using the correct grammar shows that you are a respectable and responsible person.  I want to give off a good first impression, and the way you talk is an important aspect.

[justusforus]

I do not care if people try to "judge" me.  As to my speech, I have taught several subjects and put on presentations as part of my job and I am aware of my speech.  Some of that may spill over to my personal life as I have been told I am very "proper" in my delivery.  On the other extreme, I love to joke and have a dry sense of humor and can spit out a raucus word or two.  When people say they are surprised, I usually I say "I say what I mean"...so I guess I don't care and just try and be me.

[JoeDirt]

My way of talking is not inappropriate, not because of people but out of respect to myself then the others especially my family. When I'm angry I say bad words in English and when I'm alone  :shy:.

[RomanAnthonysMama]

When it comes to my native language, (English), I do not care how people think I talk. I guess it's due to a confidence thing since it's the language you've been speaking all of your life, you know? But when it comes to learning new languages, I'm definitely shy about how I may sound, or what I may pronounce wrong since I'm not as used to the language.

[jodiann12]

Someone posed the question to me once saying "Do you care more about your own grammar or what people think of you when you speak?". This question actually struck me as a really good one.

I have recently started working at a company based in quite a wealthy part of London and a lot of the employees are very well spoken with excellent grammar and pronunciation. I am not from the same kind of area and my language is much more relaxed.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently, how much do I really care what other think about the way I speak? The more I think about it, the more I seem to care. I am going out of my way to try and speak much more like my colleagues and I don't know whether I should or not?

How important is what others think about the way you speak? Do they automatically judge you? Think lesser of you? What do you do when someone speaks in a certain way?

Yes, if I'm in a professional environment it is important that I speak a certain kind of way. It's important that I not only look professional, but speak professionally as well. If I'm doing a presentation too, especially in front of a large audience then, of course, how I speak is important. My grammar, pronunciation, and enunciation have to be right. If I'm in a more informal setting, no I don't care about how I speak because I'm in a more relaxed environment.

[rossonomous]

When it comes to my native language, (English), I do not care how people think I talk. I guess it's due to a confidence thing since it's the language you've been speaking all of your life, you know? But when it comes to learning new languages, I'm definitely shy about how I may sound, or what I may pronounce wrong since I'm not as used to the language.

I think in this case, it is pretty standard. Especially when we are at the start of a new language when we have very poor pronunciation and take a long time to think of the words we are trying to say.

[Sness]

When speaking English I care more than when I speak my native language. I try to use well out of respect to something that is not from my culture, and maybe should be the same way to Spanish, but I can't stand la gente siútica from my country who treat people like they were less than dirt for not having a good education. So, every time I'm near of fancy people or the like, I butch my language like is no tomorrow to piss them off.

[JessiFox]

I feel quite the same as you and the more I aware I am of it, the more it tends to bother me. I can be exceptionally eloquent and thoughtful in writing, but it's harder for me with spoken word and I consider it a significant disadvantage overall. It's something I'm consciously working on because I DO think it matters. And even if you exclude what others think of me, I care about how I project in general.

[rossonomous]

I feel quite the same as you and the more I aware I am of it, the more it tends to bother me. I can be exceptionally eloquent and thoughtful in writing, but it's harder for me with spoken word and I consider it a significant disadvantage overall. It's something I'm consciously working on because I DO think it matters. And even if you exclude what others think of me, I care about how I project in general.

When I'm writing and typing, I feel that I too can express what I want to say to an extremely eloquent and grammatically correct level. When I read over my CV and cover letters I always think they sound much better compared to if I spoke them.