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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

This joke has been told over and over but if you haven't seen it posted somewhere on the net, here goes: A man, a turkey in his arms, walks into a confession and says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Will you take it and forgive my sin?" "I'll not take it," the Priest answers, "you must return it to the one you stole it from." "I tried," the man says, "but he refused, what shall I do, Father." "If what you say is true," the Priest says, "then it is alright to keep if for your family." The man thanks the Priest and hurries off. When the Priest gets back home after the confession, he walks into the kitchen and finds out that someone stole his turkey!

Mom: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Daughter: "First day? You mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

Wife: How would you descrivbe me? Husband: abcdefghijk Wife: What does that stand for? Husband:adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant,fashionable, gorgeous, hot Wife:Aw thank you, but what about ijk? Husband: I'm just kidding!