Life can be a rollercoaster, but who says we can’t laugh while we’re screaming our heads off?
Welcome to the world of positive funny quotes, where wisdom meets wit, and inspiration comes with a side of giggles. These nuggets of hilarity are like verbal confetti, ready to sprinkle joy into your day and leave you grinning from ear to ear.
So get ready for a journey through the delightful realm of positive funny quotes – where every punchline comes with a silver lining.
1. “Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then, by all means, follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres
2. “Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” — Tina Fey
3. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude MacDonald
4. “Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
5. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire
6. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” — Stanley Hudson, “The Office”
7. “Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!” — Patrick Star, “SpongeBob SquarePants”
8. “The road to success is always under construction.” — Lily Tomlin
9. “People said ‘Follow your dreams.’ So I went back to bed.” — Unknown
10. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni
11. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
12. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
13. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” — Dave Barry
14. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” — Erich Segal
15. “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.” — Jerry Seinfeld, “Seinfeld”
16. “No thank you, I prefer to get high on life.” — Millie Kentner, “Freaks and Geeks”
17. “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
18. “There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.” — Barack Obama
19. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” — Sydney J. Harris
20. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
21. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” — Katharine Hepburn
22. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz
23. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — Dodgeball (2004)
24. “Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood.” — Bill Murray
25. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vince Lombardi
26. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” — Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
27. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” — Henry Youngman
28. “Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there.” — Josh Billings
29. “I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” — National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002)
30. “My favorite thing to do on this planet is to play games. And if you don’t enjoy games, then you’re really missing the point of what this life is.” — RuPaul
31. “Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.” — Steve Maraboli
32. “Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.” — Katharine Whitehorn
33. “You want to get out of the hole? First you’re going to have to put down the shovel.” — Incredibles 2 (2018)
34. “When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” — Theodore Roosevelt
35. “You never really realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.” — Unknown
36. “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” — Jules Renard
37. “The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” — Marvin Phillips
38. “Life can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” — Lemony Snicket
39. “We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.” — Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
40. “Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” — George Carlin
41. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I’ll find it along the way.” — Michael Scott, The Office
42. “Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.” — Morty, Rick and Morty
43. “True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.” — Edna Buchanan
44. “If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” — Oprah Winfrey
45. “Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube.” — Joan Rivers
46. “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” — Captain Jack Sparrow
47. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” — Bill Watterson
48. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa
49. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones
50. “Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” — Ann Bradford
51. “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.” — Sam Levenson
52. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” — Phyllis Diller
53. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope
54. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Albert Einstein
55. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.” — Jeffree Star
56. “There comes a day when you’re gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are.” — Chief Tui, “Moana”
57. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” — Billy Wilder
58. “Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon
59. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” — Phyllis Diller
60. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” — Michael Scott, “The Office”
61. “In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.” — Harold Geneen
62. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” — William James
63. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
64. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” — Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
65. “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” — Charles Bukowski
66. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
67. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.” —Joe Girard
68. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Sam Levenson
69. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” — Lucille Ball
70. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett
71. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” — Elvis Presley
72. “Working hard is important. But there is something that matters more, believing yourself.” — Harry Potter
73. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” — Marilyn Monroe
Whenever you’re feeling blue, these positive funny quotes are like a comedy show and a pep talk rolled into one. They’re your go-to arsenal for turning frowns upside down and finding the silver lining in life’s cloudy moments.
So next time you’re feeling down or just need a quick pick-me-up, remember these little gems. They’re proof that a good laugh and a positive outlook can go hand in hand.
Keep them in your back pocket, share them with friends, or stick them on your fridge. After all, who says wisdom can’t come with a side of giggles?
Hey fellow Linguaholics! It’s me, Marcel. I am the proud owner of linguaholic.com. Languages have always been my passion and I have studied Linguistics, Computational Linguistics and Sinology at the University of Zurich. It is my utmost pleasure to share with all of you guys what I know about languages and linguistics in general.