Saddle up and get ready to wrangle some laughter, because we’re saddling up with the wit and wisdom of the legendary Will Rogers. This Oklahoma-born cowboy-turned-comedian had a knack for delivering pithy, playful, and downright delightful observations that’ll have you hollering “Well, I’ll be!”
Rogers’ homespun humor and razor-sharp social commentary made him one of the most beloved figures of the early 20th century. His words were always laced with a healthy dose of charm and good-natured charm no matter the topic.
From cowboy quips to comedic gold, the quotes we’ve gathered will have you saying “Golly!” and “Aw, shucks!” in no time.
1.“Strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet.”
2. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”
3. “There isn’t any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.”
4. “An economist’s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else’s.”
5. “When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.”
6. “It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”
7. “Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.”
8. “A man can learn only two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.”
9. “Lord, let me live until I die.”
10. “This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
11.”The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.”
12. “I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.”
13. “This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it.”
14. “I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat.”
15. “One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.”
16. “If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”
17. “We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.”
18. “There should be one day when there is open season on senators.”
19. “No party is as bad as its leaders.”
20. “You never know how much a man can’t remember until he is called as a witness.”
21. “I wonder if it isn’t just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.”
22. “Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.”
23. “Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it’s not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”
24. “Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a crook or a martyr.”
25. “Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.”
26. “So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.”
27. “Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.”
28. “Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain’t saying anything.”
29. “For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.”
30. “In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.”
31. “Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.”
32. “Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.”
33. “So when all the yielding and objections is over, the other Senator said, I object to the remarks of a professional joker being put into the Congressional Record. Taking a dig at me, see?”
34. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
35. “Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.”
36. “The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
37. “Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”
38. “There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.”
39. “America is a great country, but you can’t live in it for nothing.”
40. “There is no credit to being a comedian when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.”
41. “The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.”
42. “I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else.”
43. “A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.”
44. “The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”
45. “You can’t say that civilization don’t advance… for in every war they kill you a new way.”
46. “Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.”
47. “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”
48. “The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.”
49. “Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.”
50. “I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything but good.”
51. “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”
52. “Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.”
53. “With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.”
54. “Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.”
55. “The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you’ve got to admit that each party’s worse than the other. The one that’s out always looks the best.”
56. “There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.”
57. “The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.”
58. “In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.”
59. “The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.”
60. “The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?”
61. “I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that I’ve ever said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922.”
62. “I’ve often said there’s nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.”
63. “There is only one thing that can kill the movies, and that is education.”
64. “All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.”
65. “Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.”
66. “The United States never lost a war or won a conference.”
67. “We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”
68. “The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
69. “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Now we’ve got a hearty helping of the wit and wisdom from the one and only Will Rogers. From his hilariously sharp commentary on politics to his endearingly homespun observations about life, these quotes are sure to put a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye.
So, the next time you need a little pick-me-up or a healthy dose of good-natured laughter, just remember the sage advice of Will Rogers: “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.”
Hey fellow Linguaholics! It’s me, Marcel. I am the proud owner of linguaholic.com. Languages have always been my passion and I have studied Linguistics, Computational Linguistics and Sinology at the University of Zurich. It is my utmost pleasure to share with all of you guys what I know about languages and linguistics in general.