You’re getting married. Congratulations!
The good news is that you’re going to get a lot of gifts. The maybe not-so-good news is that you have to write thank-you notes for all of them.
Even if you like writing letters, this can be a lot of work during a time that’s already pretty busy for you.
You’ll need to track who gave you which gifts and make sure that you have everyone’s addresses.
However, once you get the hang of how to write a thank you letter for an engagement gift based on the tips below, these can go pretty quickly.
What you need to write a thank you note for an engagement gift
When you’re writing a lot of letters as you’ll probably do for engagement gifts, you need some kind of system to keep up with who gave you what and what letters you’ve written.
This can be a spreadsheet, an app, your gift registry or just notes that you make to yourself.
These types of notes should not be sent via email.
They should always be handwritten on nice stationery or in a card. You can find cards that are created especially for writing thank you notes.
The stationary is usually smaller in size. This isn’t the type of note you’d write on a regular full sheet of paper.
If you’re nervous about making a mistake on your nice cards or stationery, you can always write out each of your notes ahead of time and then recopy them onto the stationery.
What to put in your thank you letter for an engagement gift
You can actually create a kind of formula for these letters that will make it easier for you to write them quickly.
Although writing a thank you letter is somewhat formal, you wouldn’t use a formal heading for this letter.
The only exception is if you are using stationery that has your preprinted name and address at the top.
Note that if you do use this kind of stationery, it should not be business stationery.
You can write the date if you’d like.
Begin the letter with “Dear” and the name of the person you’re writing to.
Use the name that you normally call them by, whether that’s Sally, Mr. and Mrs. Garcia or Uncle Alvy.
The first thing you should do is thank them for the gift. Be sure that you name whatever the gift was.
If you just write “Thank you so much for the engagement gift,” the person is going to suspect that you’ve lost track of who gave them what and that you’re just sending out generic thank you letters.
Another good reason to name the gift is that in the next sentence, you should say something about what you’re going to do with it or how you’ll use it.
Here are two examples:
“Henry and I can’t wait to hang the picture in the living room.”
“We love to make smoothies for breakfast, and we’ll use the blender every morning.”
If you are thanking someone for gift of money, avoid mentioning the amount. This is considered bad manners in some circles.
Do mention what you will use it for:
“Your gift was so generous, and we’ll put it toward our honeymoon.”
In some cases, the gift might be a duplicate, or you might have to return it for some other reason.
In that situation, you should still write the note.
You should not mention that you returned the gift, but you don’t have to include the part about how you will use it.
After that, you can add a line or two about seeing them at the wedding–or missing them if you know they’ll be unable to attend:
“We’re both looking forward to seeing you at the wedding in September.”
“I’m so sorry that you can’t make it to our wedding in August. Anna was really looking forward to meeting you. I hope we can catch up with you sometime later.”
You’ll then use an appropriate signoff at the end.
This will vary according to who you’re writing to. For your cousin or sister, it might be “Love” followed by your name and the name of your future spouse.
For a coworker or a more distant acquaintance, it might be something like “Our very best,” “Warm regards” or even “Many thanks” followed by your name and the name of your future spouse.
Reviewing the etiquette of writing a thank you note for an engagement gift
Writing a thank you note for an engagement gift is a little bit different from some other types of thank you notes, such as a thank you note to the mailman or a thank you email after a Zoom interview.
Unlike those types of thank you notes, a thank you note for an engagement gift has some very specific points of etiquette around it.
Depending on your own set of family and friends, they may not know or care very much about etiquette.
With some aspects of etiquette, such as whether or not to mention the amount of a cash gift, the recipient of your note might not actually know or care about such a rule.
However, some other points of etiquette are important to avoid hurting people’s feelings no matter who you are dealing with.
Sure, you could text your friend and thank them for the engagement gift–maybe you already have–but there is something about a handwritten note that goes a step further.
It shows that you cared enough to take the time to sit down, write the note, address the envelope, put a stamp on it and send it.
That all takes more trouble than sending a text.
So even if it’s your best friend and you’ve never written a letter to them in your life, writing a thank you note is a great way to go the extra mile to show your appreciation.
You can review how to label an envelope in 5 easy steps if you write letters so infrequently that you aren’t sure how to address the envelope.
Thank you note for an engagement gift for close friends or family members (Example 1)
Below is an example of a thank you note you might write to a close friend or family member.
Note that in the example below, the person mentions an occasion that is sooner than the wedding.
That’s because this is someone they are close enough to that they are going to see them before that.
Thank you so much for the juicer. As you know, we love our fruit and vegetable juices. We’ve already started putting it to good use for our breakfast every morning.
We’re really looking forward to seeing you on Friday, and thank you again for such a generous and thoughtful engagement gift.
Alex and Marcus
Thank you note for an engagement gift you write to someone that you don’t know well (Example 2)
Below is an example of a thank you note you might write to someone that you don’t know very well.
While you might assume that you’d only get engagement gifts from people that you know well, impending marriages can mean that sometimes more distant people getting involved.
For example, the person might be a family friend who is closer to your parents than they are to you.
Thank you so much for the beautiful set of glasses you gave us for our engagement. They will look so elegant when we use them for special occasions, and we’ll think of you whenever we take them out.
It was a very thoughtful gift. We look forward to seeing you at the wedding in June.
Our very best,
Alan and Isabe
Thank you note for an engagement gift to a relative who as given a gift of money (Example 3)
Below is an example of a thank you note to a relative who has given a gift of money.
Writing a thank you note for a money gift is a little tricky because it is sometimes considered rude to talk about money.
To stay on the right side of etiquette, in addition to not mentioning the amount, avoid using words like “money” or “cash.”
Instead, focus on thanking them for their generosity.
Thank you so much for the generous gift. It will be a big help to us in putting together a down payment for our first home.
We appreciate your thoughtfulness so much, and we can’t wait to see you at the wedding next year.
Selina and Jack
Frequently Asked Questions About Writing a Thank You Note for an Engagement Gift
How long after you receive the engagement gift do you need to write the thank you note?
You should try to write the note as soon as possible. As soon as you receive the gift can help you stay on top of things. However, if that isn’t possible, writing the note within two to three weeks is fine.
Why is it important to write a thank you note for an engagement gift?
You write the note for two reasons. One is to let the person know you received their gift. The other is to acknowledge their thoughtfulness and generosity.
Hey fellow Linguaholics! It’s me, Marcel. I am the proud owner of linguaholic.com. Languages have always been my passion and I have studied Linguistics, Computational Linguistics and Sinology at the University of Zurich. It is my utmost pleasure to share with all of you guys what I know about languages and linguistics in general.